Find the yeses
We do what we are doing, and rarely is that what we said "yes" to.
Because saying "yes" means that we said "no" to something else. And we do not like losing anything.
So we continue doing whatever, whenever and letting things happen to us. A way to break out of it is to listen out for a strong "yes" from another and doing that.
And if that "yes" is not clear, to take it as the unspoken "no" it is.