Tub of nuts

In a queue at the grocery shop, on my way to a retreat. Fighting unknown anxiety, I see a tub of nuts.

Taking that tub of nuts of the shelf and holding it tightly, resolves that anxiety.

And I have a flashback to a camp as a teenager. Walking around after midnight with unsatisfied hunger and no access to food. And doing that night after night the whole time there.

That event is the reason that I have to have control over my access to food to this day.

That one relatively minor event many years ago still grips me and causes me to act in strange ways: In which other ways are more major traumatic events shaping my behaviour?